November 3, 2010 – 9:53 p.m.
My Dearest Love,
Have you bought a house yet? I was thinking we should get married next month. We really would need a place to live under short circumstances. So you really should get on with your house buying. I prefer a lime green interior. And for the exterior I am thinking hot pick on the north and west wall, and pale orange on the east and south. As much as you dislike purple, I insist that every door be painted purple that my heart will be happy and we can live together happily ever after. If you don’t mind me asking, please remove all the windows from the house. After my experience in Palau, I prefer the open air feeling a screen provides. There doesn’t need to be any closets in the house as nail will do just fine to hang our clothes on. I highly suggest tearing a hole in the roof also, as to provide a way of escape for the smoke. I suggest this whole be near the kitchen. Um let’s see, the table needs to have three legs not four, as this prevents any possibility of wobbling. You know how I don’t like my tables to wobble. To finish it off, I demand 100% see through curtains. If for any reason these specific and highly important demands are not met, I am afraid the marriage must be called off, because it is clear that you are not Mr. Right. But then again I have always gotten my right and left confused.
Sincerely, with the deepest kind of synthetic love